YO YOU EVER DO SOME SHIT OR FIND YOURSELF IN A SITUATION THAT AS A FULL GROWN ADULT NIGGA YOU FIND OD EMBARRASSING? I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS SHIT WHILE I WAS WALKIN TO BUY DIAPERS & MILK & SHIT. 

HERE’S SOME EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS/MOMENTS THAT YOU SHOULD TRY TO AVOID AND IF THEY HAPPEN THEN FUCK IT THEY HAPPENED BUT MAKE SURE NOBODY HAS THE INCIDENT ON RECORD. 

-GETTING IN/OUT THE BACK OF A TWO DOOR VEHICLE: 

DAMN SON THAT SHIT IS EMBARRASSING IF YOU TALLER THAN 4’5” (AND IF YOU 4’5” YOURE WHOLE LIFE IS EMBARRASSING) NIGGAS PICKED YOU UP AND YOU WALKED OUT AND FORGOT YOUR MAN HAD A CIVIC HATCHBACK? NOW THE NIGGA GOTTA GET OUTTA THE FRONT SEAT AND LET YOU IN THE BACK AND THAT’S SOME FEMININE ASS SHIT B CUZ THE NIGGA IS HOLDING THE SEAT FOR YOU ON SOME GENTLEMANLY FIRST DATE TYPE SHIT. THEN HE THROWS HIS SEAT BACK AND YOU GOT YOUR KNEES IN YOUR CHEST B. IF YOU PULL UP NEXT TO A CAR FULL OF FEMALES AT A LIGHT AND THEY ALL CHILLING IN A CAMRY & SHIT MAD LEGROOM…BITCHES LOOK OVER AT YOU AND YOU LOOK LIKE DAVID BLAINE SMOKIN A ROACH IN A GLASS BOX B MAD COOPED UP B. THATS OD EMBARRASSING MY NIGGA CUZ YOU LOOK LIKE A BABY GOLDFISH IN THE LITTLE 1.99 BOWLS AT PETLAND & SHIT B. THEY MIGHT CALL YOU BABYDICK FISHFOOD AND TWITPIC YOU LIKE *ASSHOLE.JPG* “#BABYDICKFISHFOOD WE ALL CHILLIN IN A CAMRY MAD LEGROOM SMH @ THIS NIGGA” 

-TAKING YOUR HAT OFF TO GO INTO AN ESTABLISHMENT AND YOUR HAIR IS WILD FUCKED UP OR YOU’RE BALD: 

NIGGA FIRST OF ALL IF YOU BALD SHAVE YOUR FUCKIN HEAD B. THERES NO USE HOLDING ON TO THE PAST MY NIGGA. IF YOU A MILLIONAIRE GO GET SOME OFFICIAL FAKE HAIR BUT IF YOU JUST A REGULAR NIGGA SHAVE YOUR HEAD…ANYWAY…OH YO YOU JUST PICKED UP JENIFYRR? (SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE PUERTO RICAN BITCHES THAT GOT A WILD BASIC NAME BUT SPELL IT ALL CRAZY CUZ THEY MOM SMOKED/SMOKES ALOTTA WEED AND WATCHES SOAP OPERAS, NOT NOVELAS B, SOAP OPERAS.)…YEAH NIGGA YOU JUST SCOOPED UP JENIFYRR AND SHE GOT ON A LEOPARD PRINT MINISKIRT AND HER TAMPON STRING IS STICKIN OUT (BUMMER) BUT YOU KNOW SHE’S GONNA TOP YOU OFF SO YOU LIKE “FUCK IT B LETS GET IT” LIKE A PARATROOPER THATS ABOUT TO JUMP OUT A PLANE…THEN YOU GET TO THE BAR/CLUB/LOUNGE/CHINESE BUFFET OR WHATEVER AND THE NIGGA CHECKS YOUR IDS AND SHIT AND YOU WALKIN IN AND THE HUGE FAT NIGGA THAT JUST CARESSED YOUR NUTS IS LIKE “YO MY MAN” *DOES HAT OFF HEAD MOTION* NO HATS MY MAN.” AND YOU TAKE YOUR HAT OFF AND TIME STANDS STILL AS YOUR RUGGED CRUNCHY BEAR GRYLLS IN THE WILD ASS HAIR IS EXPOSED TO JENNIFYRR AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CLUB. DAMN THAT SHIT IS EMBARRASSING B. ESPECIALLY IF THEY GOT THOSE BLACK LIGHT SITUATIONS CUZ EVERY STRAY HAIR IS STICKING UP AND BEING HIGHLIGHTED B SO YOUR WIGINTON LOOKS LIKE A DEAD RADIOACTIVE PORCUPINE. 

YOUR GIRL SEES HER EX AND LOOKS HAPPY TO SEE HIM: 

DAMN IF YOU’RE A SIMP NIGGA THIS IS EMBARRASSING AND IF YOU’RE A WILD COWBOY HIGHSCHOOL IN THE FACE ASS NIGGA AND YOU LOVE FIGHTING FOR NO REAS THIS COULD BE DISASTROUS. CUZ YOU EITHER JUST STANDING THERE LIKE ONE OF THEM PLASTIC FLAMINGOS NIGGAS PUT ON THEY LAWN NAHMEAN LOOKIN LIKE AN ILL FUCKIN BIRD FLOWERPOT ASS NIGGA, OR YOU HOOK OFF AND PUNCH THIS NIGGA IN HIS GRILLATIN FOR NO REAS AND GET CUFFED BY PAUL BLART. SHIT IS LOSE LOSE. BASICALLY THERE’S NO WAY OUT OF THIS WITHOUT TAKING AN L B CUZ IT’S NOT IN YOUR HANDS. YOUR GIRLS REACTION IS YOUR GIRLS REACTION B, UNLESS YOU COLD SMACK THE BITCH IN THE FACIAL IN FRONT OF DUDE BUT THEN YOU SENDIN THE WRONG MESSAGE, ONE OF INSECURITY IN YOUR PUSSY EATING SKILLS. 

YOUR GIRL/WIFE CALLS YOU WHEN YOUR WITH YOUR PEOPLES AND ASKS YOU 21 QUESTIONS: 

THIS IS THE WORST CUZ IF YOUR NIGGAS AIN’T MARRIED THEN THEY ABOUT TO CUT SOME SELF ESTEEM SHATTERING ASS ON YOU B. ALSO IF YOU HIGH THIS SHIT IS LIKE GOIN TO BLOWINMINE.COM AND DOWNLOADING THE “BLOW MY HIGH LITE” APP…YOU COULD BE CHILLIN ENJOYING YOUR HIGH LISTENING TO CORMEGA WATCHING THE KNICKS & SHIT AND THEN BOOM YOUR WIFE CALLS AND ASKS YOU WHEN YOU GONNA BE HOME AND DID YOU PICK UP HER MOMS BIRTHDAY CARD CUZ SHE HAS TO MAIL IT OUT TOMORROW AND PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDNT FORGET THE CON-ED BILL OR OUR FUCKING LIGHTS ARE GONNA GET SHUT OFF HELLO? HELLO?! YOU FORGOT THE FUCKING CON-ED BILL I KNEW IT!! AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU JUST LIKE “SHUT THE FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK UUUUUPPPPPP BIIIIITTTTTCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!”…BUT IN YOUR HEAD THOUGH CUZ IF YOU SAY IT OUT LOUD YOU BOUT TO HAVE AN EMBARRASSING ARGUMENT ON THE PHONE AND SHE’S GONNA THROW SHOTS AT YOUR MOM AND SAY YOUR SISTER IS A SLUT & SHIT B. APOCALYPSE EMBARRASSMENT TYPE SHIT FAM. 

A disease defined by the British Medical Association as a reaction remarkably close to mountain sickness resulting from the sudden terror brought on by the threat of happiness. It was a common disease among tourists in this region of Spain, faced in these idyllic surroundings with the sudden realization that earthly happiness might be within their grasp, and prey therefore to a violent physiological reaction designed to counteract such a daunting possibility.